Nothing could have quite prepared me for not being a student for the first time in my memory. Sixteen years of education certainly couldn't. Not that I'm in the least ungrateful for the incredible education I was lucky enough to be supported through by my loving parents. I'm just reflecting on the shock I had when I took a survey last summer and realized that for the first time I had to toggle the "unemployed" button instead of the "student" one when asked about my occupation.
Graduating from college resulted in one of the most sudden changes in identity I have ever experienced, accompanied by a host of questions about what to do with my life. I was suddenly asked to come up with my own goals and a structure through which to reach them. All by myself. In other words, I was asked to grow up, at least a little. Which isn't to say that I've particularly risen to the challenge: the past six or seven months have yielded surprising amounts of wasted time, and copious knitted hats. Worse is my profound indecision on my life goals. One day I'll be sure I want to become a foreign service officer; the next I'll be searching for PhD programs in cognitive neuroscience. Rough life.
One thing I do know, however, is that I love language and culture. So, I've found a job teaching English in Ukraine. Where in Ukraine is yet to be determined, but the plane ticket is bought and I'm going! Ever since it became a done deal I became much sadder and more ambivalent than I had expected: graduating makes me feel uprooted anyway and I was just settling back into life in San Francisco. But this seems like an incredible opportunity, and I can always come home before the contract's 8 months are up if it doesn't work out. So I'm trying to stay positive and push myself to do something that will hopefully help me assess my skills, values, and possibilities.
I have many hopes and dreams for this blog, not least of which that it makes me a star, or, just as likely, breakfast in bed. Most of all, I'd like this to be a space for me to share my experiences and analyses of life abroad with my family and friends, and whoever has to write a report on Eurasian society by 2 AM. I blogged while studying abroad in Turkey, and it certainly helped my homesickness then, so I hope it will now, too. :)
